Why
Try and think of as many phrases as you can for female masturbation, how many do you have? 2? 3, max? What we do not have language for we do not own or understand. The history of female sexuality is largely one of control and suppression, rendering masturbation and it’s empowering self sufficiency a subject that is deamonised at worst and untouched at best. It is time to shake off the old gender stereotypes related to sexuality and realise that there is no ‘normal’. We are all different in our drives and desires, and should all have the right to explore them. Sexuality has nothing to do with gender - wether you are male, female, cis, trans, or gender non-conforming - your sex drive is your own and there should be no pressure to perform otherwise. This project is not about pushing women to be more sexual, it is about presenting the opportunity to be, and in doing so adding one more voice to the many conversations aimed at destroying the taboos and assumptions related to gendered sexuality.
Although alot has changed since the dark days of hysteria, there are still many systemic and normalised ways that the oppression of female sexuality continues to be felt. In an age when the media is constantly putting pressure on girls and women to look and be a certain way, where women are constantly objectified, where a lot of the knowledge young people learn from sex is from the over idealised and unrealistic world of pornography, it is important for women to understand that their sexuality is their own, and that they are fully in power of it. Internalised misogyny is an often overlooked and very harmful aspect of living in a patriarchal society. How can we expect others to change if we are upholding the very thought patterns which we are aiming to dispel in others. Whenever we criticise our bodies in comparison to an unachievable goal, whenever we apologise for the sensitivity and needs which should be celebrated, whenever we judge ourselves solely based on the physical, forgetting our numerous merits such as intelligence, wit and creativity - we are upholding the values of that patriarchal society. There are many ways to counter this, and creating a positive attitude to masturbation is only a very minor contribution, but it is one none the less.
Aside from a feminist stand point; the benefits of masturbation speak for themselves. It relieves symptoms of depression, stress and anxiety. It can help you sleep. It helps build self-esteem and a healthy relationship with yourself. Owning your sexuality helps encourage the knowledge that you are enough, just as you are, and that you are self-sufficient. Self-loving can happen when ever and how ever YOU want, this relieves any pressure to ‘perform’ which often then translates into being a more confident and self knowledgeable lover when having relationships with other people. It can be especially helpful for women who have experienced sexual violence, by allowing them to be sexual in an environment where they are totally in control and safe. And aside from all that, lets be honest, it’s really fun.
Although alot has changed since the dark days of hysteria, there are still many systemic and normalised ways that the oppression of female sexuality continues to be felt. In an age when the media is constantly putting pressure on girls and women to look and be a certain way, where women are constantly objectified, where a lot of the knowledge young people learn from sex is from the over idealised and unrealistic world of pornography, it is important for women to understand that their sexuality is their own, and that they are fully in power of it. Internalised misogyny is an often overlooked and very harmful aspect of living in a patriarchal society. How can we expect others to change if we are upholding the very thought patterns which we are aiming to dispel in others. Whenever we criticise our bodies in comparison to an unachievable goal, whenever we apologise for the sensitivity and needs which should be celebrated, whenever we judge ourselves solely based on the physical, forgetting our numerous merits such as intelligence, wit and creativity - we are upholding the values of that patriarchal society. There are many ways to counter this, and creating a positive attitude to masturbation is only a very minor contribution, but it is one none the less.
Aside from a feminist stand point; the benefits of masturbation speak for themselves. It relieves symptoms of depression, stress and anxiety. It can help you sleep. It helps build self-esteem and a healthy relationship with yourself. Owning your sexuality helps encourage the knowledge that you are enough, just as you are, and that you are self-sufficient. Self-loving can happen when ever and how ever YOU want, this relieves any pressure to ‘perform’ which often then translates into being a more confident and self knowledgeable lover when having relationships with other people. It can be especially helpful for women who have experienced sexual violence, by allowing them to be sexual in an environment where they are totally in control and safe. And aside from all that, lets be honest, it’s really fun.
How
In talking about our experiences we can not only eliminate the shame and embarrassment that often comes with the act, but also encourage it as part of a healthy lifestyle. For some it isn’t as easy as just dropping trow and having a fiddle in the name of feminism, for trans women, or women from more oppressive cultures, for example, the subject can be more complicated. But by creating a more relaxed and equal attitude to this act, it will hopefully help build the foundations for equality in other areas too.
This project hopes, not only to relieve the shame that can come with masturbation, but also encourage it as something that is positive.
This project hopes, not only to relieve the shame that can come with masturbation, but also encourage it as something that is positive.
How Can I Help?
This is the most important section of what is writen here. This project is currently made from a british, cis, straight perspective, because that is the only one that I own, not because that is the only one I feel is important. If you are willing to share your experiences - I want to hear from you.
Please send any contributions, ideas, corrections, requests to collaborate, thoughts... The list goes on to:
may@pastabaking.co.uk
